“Well, during one Grad Night, two teens were in the Haunted Mansion. They thought because it was dark inside, no one would see the girl giving the boy a blowjob. Little did they know, some of Master Gracey’s servants were hiding in the walls of the mansion. The teens were caught in the act by one of them, who shouted out from the darkness, ‘You’re doing it wrong!’ Girl bit his penis. Medic, security, managers, everyone you can imagine who needed to be involved was there.”

“While sitting with my friend in front of Small World, I noticed something was crawling slowly past me. It was an actual live lobster crawling along the pathway. As I shouted to my friend to look at it, one of the Cast Members walked nonchalantly up and grabbed the lobster saying, ‘Now how did you get out?’ He then proceeded to throw the lobster into the waters directly behind us. Long story short, Disneyland breeds their own lobsters.”